To all ye spammers – a Pythonesque April’s Fool
(the subtitles are for the foreign language spammers, since I got a few spams in Russian and Polish as well.)
Since starting this blog just a year ago, I feel lucky to have received hundreds of thousands of reads (and ever growing numbers each day), hundreds of valid comments from genuine readers, and personal heartfelt e-mails sent directly. I know – numbers could be made even higher through active advertising, ‘fan-pages’, soliciting etc., but I have consciously not done so, and feel very blessed that keeping an independent opinion-piece blog where I consciously decided not to place celebrity-gossip or fashion ‘tips’ or some loud, raving ideology still attracted many wonderful readers. A big thank-you of gratitude for putting up with my ramblings, and to those readers who placed links of some of my articles on boards in the Telegraph, the Guardian, the Huffington Post, the Village Voice and on various blogrolls.
But on April Fool’s Day – I’m going to dedicate this one post to the THOUSANDS of spam mail I get. Thank you, thank you, thank you Akismet for your highly effective spam filter – I get around 10,000 spam comments a month and would have gone insane if this filter did not exist.
No, dear spam sites, I do NOT need a penis enlargement (in fact the last time I checked, I did not even have a penis), I don’t need to know all the benefits of acai berry, be concerned with Justin Bieber’s hair, or ‘boost seminal fluid naturally’, pop ‘testosterone pills’, need ‘starwars games’ (actually that one’s nice, but sorry – you’re a spammer so I can’t place your comment), go to a site for ‘saving accounts rates’ and ‘mortgage rates’, need your ‘anxiety exercises’, nor your ‘penis pump’, or view different variations of ‘free porn’. My colon is doing just fine, thank you – and doesn’t need your ‘colon cleansing equipment’. I’m also not going on your ‘online casino’, nor do I need ‘relationship advice for Christian women’, I’m reticent to imagine what ‘free slots’ exactly means, and my boobs are doing just fine, merci beaucoup! I think I will also skip the ‘Hitachi magic wand’ whatever that means. These and countless other solicitors that send spam about cars, colons, games, houses, sex organs and many other ‘items’ – this post is for you for all the trouble you took to jam my spambox.
Hence I offer you, my dear spammers, Monty Python’s ‘spam, spam, spam, spam, spam and spam.’ And perhaps, only on this particular post, I’m tempted to place your spam comments, but on second thoughts – NO – it’s going to take away all the good ones in the ‘recent comments’ list on my side bar. So – I appreciate your efforts to sneak in, and your tenacity. But darn – you’re tenaciously irritating. And I can’t thank WordPress’ Akismet filter enough.
April – here I come. A Happy April to all my readers from this gipsy, geeky Fool.
For a list of all posts, published so far: https://gipsygeek.wordpress.com/index-of-articles/